Posted in Portuguese

E se não há casas-de-banho!?!?

Ontem, fui ao “Soho Teatro” no centro de Londres para ver uma comédia chamada “What if there is no toilet?” (“E se não há casas-de-banho?”).
notebook_image_669088É um espectáculo duma comediante australiana que se chama Felicity Ward. Eu sei, parece um tema muito estranho para uma comédia, mas foi muito engraçado, e muito agradável. A Felicity Ward falou da sua vida com Síndrome do Intestino Irritável e a ansiedade de estar longe duma casa-de-banho e precisar de fazer coco ou xixi. No começo do espectáculo,
pude ver no palco uma sanita em vez duma cadeira, e em cada lado do palco, havia uma pirâmide de papel higiénico. A meio do espectáculo, ela abriu a sanita, e fora dela tirou uma garrafa de água, e começou a beber! Mais tarde, quando contou uma história embaraçosa, produziu umas folhas do papel higiénico de dentro da sanita e fez um bigode de papel higiénico para ela mesmo. Se alguns membros da audiência quisessem sair das suas cadeiras para usar a casa-de-banho, ela pediu-lhes fazer um sinal “T” com as suas mãos para indicar as suas intenções. Por isso, eles vieram a ser membros do “Team Toilet” (em inglês, isto é talvez equivalente a “Equipe do Banheiro”)
O que a Felicity Ward acha da vida em Inglaterra? Não pode acreditar como é difícil de procurar uma casa-de-banho pública. “Em Kings Cross, custa 50p para usar a casa-de-banho, mas apercebi-me que há dois pianos, para os viajantes usarem gratuitamente. Fiz xixi num piano”.

Reflections

This was quite a tricky one when I wrote it on iTalki because at least one of the people who helped correct it had underestimated how icky it was. When I said she took toilet paper out of the toilet, I guess it seemed like I meant she put toilet paper into the toilet, which, on the face of it, seems more likely.

In fact, even the translation of “toilet” is a bit tricky. I originally went with “E se não há sanitas!?!?” for the title. Sanita is the actual bit you sit on – the throne, if you like, but I think the feeling was “Casa-De-Banho” (the room the toilet is in) was the salient point. The trouble is, “house of bath” sounds a bit off to me. I dunno. The translators of the Bible had similar problems. In 1 Samuel 24, David goes into a cave to “cover his feet” (squat down for reasons you can imagine, in a way that will make his robes drape down over his feet). Obviously this  phrase means nothing to a modern speaker of english, so various translators of the various versions of the Bible such as “relieve himself”, “make water” or “go to the bathroom”. I love the idea that, in the desert, hundreds of years before Christ, he’s going into a cave, flicking a switch and finding an avocado-coloured bathroom suite, tiles and a bog-brush.

Another contentious word was “cocô” which is the way the Brazilians write “poo”. M’wife tells me it’s “coco” in Europe, although, confusingly that also means “coconut”. I assure you, she wasn’t worried about needing a coconut. Does the orthographic agreement cover poo, I wonder?

I left “Equipe do Banheiro” as it was, as a translation of “Team Toilet”, even though it’s more of a Brazilian way of saying it, The European version suggested was “Equipe da Casa-de-Banho”. The reasons for choosing the Brazilian were (1) it sounds more like a team name and closer to the rhythm of “Team Toilet” and (2) Felicity Ward is Australian so she speaks a hideous, barbarous travesty of English* so why not translate her words in a  hideous, barbarous travesty of Portuguese**?

 

*=joking, obvs***

**=joking again, obvs****

***=I probably shouldn’t over-explain but you know I’ll get hate mail if I don’t lay it out for the benefit of humourless people in Canberra

****= ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto São Paolo.

 

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Just a data nerd

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